my list

So it's another close to another day. And yet, I'm not ready to call it a night, to crawl in my sheets and force my eyes to close. I just never feel that I've had enough of today. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that has stayed on my mind. In short, we talked about how important it is to spend some time with our children when we are unhurried. I've noticed lately how task oriented I've become. I just don't want my children to remember me always trying to get something done, but never actually sitting with them on the couch, in their bed, on the floor. It really doesn't take much, to find those opportunities to let life slip for a moment, let the task go undone for another few minutes, and just be there... really be there. How else will they ever really see who I am? How else will they know that I hear them? How else will they understand that they matter to me above all else? When I look at my life in this way, I see how important these monotonous days really are. I know that they won't remember if there was always a pile of laundry in the basket. They will, however, keep the impression I leave of whether I was happy, whether I was proud of them, and whether they felt loved.

So in that light, at the close of another day, here's what I did today that really did matter.

1. I danced with my daughter. It was only for a minute as we crossed in the hall and there was no music, but it made her smile.

2. I praised Ethan for how helpful he was in lifting my groceries onto the belt at the grocery store. I told him that he was a true hero, because he helped someone. I could have imagined it, but I swear I saw his little chest puff up about an inch.

3. I told Dallin how much his little sister missed him while he was at school. When he asked me what she said, I told a little white lie and said that she always asks, 'where's Dallin, where is he?' I teared up a little when I watched him through the rear view mirror sigh and then throw his arms around her neck and squeeze her in her car seat.

And none of these things were on my list.