I think my son Dallin just got asked out on his first date. Mind you, he's six and still in kindergarten. It went something like this... I answered the phone and a young girl nervously asked, "Hi. Is Dallin there?" I think I heard a giggle and her voice blush (is that possible?) When I asked who she was, she told me, "Cambpell" or "Camel" or something like that. I know there isn't a girl in his class with that name, so I inquired and found out she was in a different kindergarten class. So I hand the phone over to Dallin and listen to his side of the conversation where plans are being made. I hear him say, "yes, I can come...today?... yeah, my mom will bring me... oh. okay." Then he turns to me and says, "Mom, do you know where Chili's is?" I guffaw. "The restaurant?" He turns to the phone and asks, "Is that a restaurant?" then "Yeah, it's a restaurant, mom." Duh. Then, with an extreme amount of coolness, he asks if his little brother can come. She apparently consents, and Dallin hands the phone over to Ethan to talk. After Ethan confirms his invitation, he hands the phone over to me. I'm still like, what the...? Then there is a lady's voice on the phone who is Soup's grandmother. She says she didn't know about the plans since she was in the other room.
Let me proceed by painting a different scenario that happened last week. Dallin asked if he could have a playdate one day after school. We called a couple of boys in his class and neither were home. So then he asks if we can call Clare, a girl in his class. Now, as far as I can tell, Dallin doesn't seem to care yet if a friend is a girl or a boy. He has friends of each sex that he is equally close to in our ward. So, I wasn't surprised he asked about Clare. I've met her and her mother at school, she sits on his table and doesn't treat him like he's obnoxious. She seems very nice. Since I had spoken with her mother at length one day, I thought it would probably be fine; her mother probably sensed that not only am I not a psychopath, but that I'm nice person, right? Apparently not. Clare's mother not only hesitated for an uncomfortable amount of time, but then asks me if she can call me back. Fine, fine. Checking things out, okay. Then she calls back and says that Clare would love to come, but that she would be coming too. Huh? Playdate with mother too? What am I supposed to say? No, you can't come because I was planning on finishing my laundry and am currently sitting in the middle of five loads of clean clothes needing to be folded. So rather than having a fun, relaxed afternoon with the kids, I get to sit and visit with Clare's mom. Odd. I'm new to the playdate thing. I don't really know how it works. So I'm throwing this question out there to all my cybermoms. Is this how it normally works? If so, was it because it was a boy/girl situation, or does this happen regardless?
I am not sure if I'm ready for this little boy to grow up. I'm not ready for his life to become more complicated, or my own for that matter.
7 comments:
Mel, I have a various assortment of neighborhood children in and out of my house every single day for playdates (both scheduled and, more often, spontaneous) and GRATEFULLY their mothers stay home. I can't imagine anything more awkward than having to sit on your couch and chit-chat, pretending that you have time to visit with a veritable stranger all afternoon! :) Your post made me smile. Oh, and of course Dallin's getting asked on dates...he's such a cutie. Maybe I can introduce him to my Macy the next time you're in town...
We aren't really dating yet, but I am all too familiar with the "wierd parent/playdate" dynamic. Whenever Max or Libby gets invited to a new friend'd house, one in which I haven't been or I don't know the parents well, I try to visit a bit on the phone and get a sense, then I make a point of dropping them off and either craning my neck to get a good view of the inside, or coming in the front entry for a second under the pretense of kissing goodbye, then getting a look around. I never stay - that's weird and imposing. Actually, I've stayed with my little ones (3 year-olds) when the mom invites me and we're already friends, but otherwise, nooooo. I'd bet that mom was nervous, maybe not even because of the boy/girl thing, but because she's probably a really cautious mom. I find when parents seem nervous, I just am honest and say, "Come in, check things out and stay for a second so you can get a sense of the place." Most seem to appreciate that.
I can't say that I've had the mom invite herself over. I have taken Ty to birthday parties and stayed for a little while until I am sure it is an ok situation to leave him in.
Tyler had a little girl from his class call him a few weeks ago and I was most frazzled by it. What mom just allows that? She was trying to set up a 'playdate' under the pretenses of Tyler playing with her brother that he had never met. Tyler did not want to go, nor did he want to talk to her and to top it off I had met the mom at a Birthday Party and it was not someone I was comfortable leaving my child with.
I am dying that a little 6 year old set up a date, she'll be a handful at 12 won't she! I think what is even more interesting is that the mom was up for it. Strange.
Heather, I don't think the mother knew. When the little girl called, it was her gma that got on after and didn't know the girl was calling. I have to wonder though how she got our number on her own. By the way, a little update... she called again tonight twice. She told me she was doing her V-day cards (a little early?) and wanted to talk to Dallin. Then she invited him to come to her house for a slumber party tomorrow night. Yeah, right, sweetheart.
Wow, sounds like Chicken Noodle Soup has it bad for Dallin! I am a little freaked out about the day when my little ones start the whole dating thing but I was hoping to have at least 13 more years until the phone started ringing (dreaming, I guess, rather than hoping). Anyway, Dallin is a looker though!
And, I am totally with you on how akward that is going to be to have that lady hanging out. Play dates are supposed to give both mom's somewhat of a date. One mom gets to run errands with no kids while the other mom supervises the kids but has more time to do her stuff with out that particular kid hanging on her, right?!?
I meant, is supposed to give both moms somewhat of a BREAK, not DATE. I should probably preview before I send my comments. :)
Melissa, that is so funny that she is inviting him for sleep overs. I wonder what her mom would think? I had to have Tyler tell his little friend that she wasn't allowed to call our house and then I told him not to give out our phone number, unless it was to someone I said was ok.
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